Friday, May 8, 2015

Dear Crush

Dear Crush, I feel like crush isn't even a fitting thing to call you anymore. It feels like so much more than that. When I just see you I know we were meant to be, as friends, or something more. It's like I remember you from someplace, some may say a past life, but I don't believe in those, so maybe we're together in an alternate universe or something. But I can't deny this inexplicable feeling I get deep inside me when I'm with you.

Dear Crush, I know your life isn't going great right now, and you're struggling alot with mental stuff. I want to be there for you and hold you and make you feel like you are the most loved person on earth and everything's going to be ok cause we can conquer all this together through Christ who strengthens us. I know how to love someone who suffers with mental illness first-hand, I've been doing it my whole life, It's nothing new to me. That part of you won't scare me off, It'll make me want to love you even more.

Dear Crush, I want to do everything I can to understand you and who you want to be when you're not caught in a fog. I want to journey with you into God's deep love for us and the freedom that comes with knowing the creator. I want you to know I'm here and praying for you everytime you cross my mind, which is an awful lot lately. I want you to know I'm yours to hold when you feel ready to allow yourself to love again.

Dear Crush, I know there's a future waiting for us out there that's better than either of us could ever imagine. It's not perfect, but no life is, But it's perfect in the way that we have each other and most importantly we have God on our side. I'm willing to wait for you and for the life I could have with you. You are most definitely worth it. No one I've met so far comes even close to you.

Dear Crush, Just one thing. Theres this other person. I thought at one time he was one to pursue. But after closer inspection, he just seems like a diversion sent to make me settle for something that could never truly be best for me. I don't know anymore if I still like him that way, you have brought something so new into my life, but he's right here, and you are farther, physically and emotionally. He's what I think I want, but I know even with him, there'd still be something missing. That thing is God and you. He doesn't know God and he doesn't give me that strange feeling you do. He gives me a different feeling, and lately, it's one that tells me he's not worth what you are.

Until the day you realize I'm right in front of you and always praying for you,

There Will Be an Answer, Let It Be - Paul McCartney
If you think God made something perfect for you, wait patiently for Him to provide it- C.S. Lewis
You will see someday, all along the way, I was yours to hold- Skillet
You know I love you but I'm playing for keeps- Phil Collins

Friday, April 17, 2015


Hey everyone! Time for another entry in "Becky's College Adventures"!  Hard to believe I'm almost done with my first year of college! It really went by fast. For those of you who don't know, I've changed my major from special education to just general Elementary Education. Although I still have a heart for kids with disabilities, I've decided that my job outlooks and general happiness would be better in a mainstream classroom. Well, lets talk about my second semester here at Triton!

My Classes

RHT 102- Freshman Rhetoric and Composition 2  My English class his semester is in the exact same room as my class with Bob and my crush last semester, so first day of this semester was very emotionally nostalgic, being in the same room with completely different people, still expecting my two favorite faces to walk in. Well, they didn't, and 102 is alot different than 101, but the papers are shorter, which is a good thing. Mr. Martinez is  young and brand new here, fresh out of Iraq. He's really cool and uses podcasts and netflix to help us understand stuff. We talk about current events alot because he says we need to know about the crisis's and challenges that are happening in our world today, and what we can do to help fix them.

EDU 206- Introduction to Education This is my favorite class, I have a small group of friends in it, and everyone in there wants to do what I want to do- teach. Everyone has a genuine interest in the subject and its nice because I haven't had that in any other class so far. Mrs. Olson is a great teacher and leads alot of thought provoking debates and discussions about the world of education. I had to observe a real classroom for 20 hours and I went back to my old first grade teacher at hillside school, Mrs. Chan. She's the same as i remember, and it was really interesting seeing a classroom from the other side of the desk. I can definitely see myself teaching a room of first-graders one day.

MUS 110- Listening to Music This is one of the hardest classes I have had yet, Professor Burns requires alot of assignments and work. And the tests are really hard, he plays a song and you have to write down every detail you have learned about it. "Listening to music" sounds like an easy class, like, how hard is it to listen to music. Well, apparently there's an awful lot to listen to that I haven't heard prior to this class. I have to go to 3 concerts and write papers about them, most recently I went downtown to the Lyric Opera and saw "Carousel" which was really cool and I highly recommend, I'm now not looking forward to writing a four page paper on it. The people in the class obviously took it as a blow-off class, and are really dumb and hardly try, which makes me really dissapointed in people my own age and feel sorry for the teacher.

HIS 151- United States History until 1877  I try not to fall asleep in this class, honest I do, but it's right after lunch and Professor Smith turns off all the lights and talk the entire time then shows us PBS specials. He's a really nice teacher, He's even Lutheran and shared the gospel in class the first week, but this class makes me tired for some reason. It's a minimal work class, that's good, I just wish i could pay attention better.

MUS 216- History of Popular Music in America This is a cool class, I get to flaunt my classic rock knowledge, but the teacher, Ray, is a paranoid ADD  schizophrenic. He thinks we're constantly being watched and that the government is out to get us, and that watching a youtube video is copyright infringement and everyone of us should be in jail right now. When he's on topic the class can be fun, but half the time is spent off topic which really sucks. Plus this class is once a week and is 3 hours long at the end of a busy day. uggggg

Well, Early this semester, I notice the nerd table and my crush i ate lunch with never really even cared that i was there, so I did a bit of a social experiment and stopped sitting with them and stopped talking to my crush. Well, its been a whole semester and I haven't gotten so much as a fb message asking if im ok or where i am. I even see my old crush in the hallway every so often and he doesn't wave or say hi or even act like he ever knew me. I guess im better off without him, he obviously doesn't care, but i miss his stupid face and little laugh and bad fashion choices sometimes. It's better to have no friends than bad friends i suppose. Anyone looking to coming to Triton next semester and need someone to eat lunch with? Let me know
Im still working for Bob in his office, doesn't make much but it covers tuition. Im looking for a job for the summer and have applied tons of places, I hope something comes up soon. My unicorn hasn't appeared yet, but I have a few guys I know and like, It's just really hard because I feel no guy will ever like me back, cause I've never experienced a two way crush before, It's hard for me even to imagine what that would be like.

There, you are peeps, if you ask me how school is and I say "good", I"m referencing this blog post.
Save the Texas Prairie Chicken, Peace and Love****

P.S.- Did you notice I spiffed up this place?? Not bad, huh?

Saturday, November 15, 2014


That seems to be the only question anyone ever wants to ask me anymore, not "How are you?" or "What's Paul McCartney up to these days?" or "How many of the Beatles albums on vinyl do you own?" or "What are your thoughts on the Star Trek episode "Amok Time"?" (Which are all questions I'd love to be asked, mind you). No, all anyone wants to know is "HOW'S SCHOOL??".  And all you will hear from me (besides this post) is "FINE, THANKS".  Cause school's just that. Fine. I'm a first semester freshman at Triton College (for those of you that didn't know). I was homeschooled my entire school career before this, so I guess people are just surprised I haven't been pulverized by the outside world yet. Well people, let me tell you my thoughts on school.
       The Classes 
   Psychology 100- The professors pretty cool and has some very informative slides. But no matter how hard I study, I can't get over a 75 on quizzes or an 83 on tests. But I'm still getting a "B" which is good. I find the subject very interesting, I just can't retain the information, idk.
   Astronomy 101- Dr. Nicholson is a walking encyclopedia that is running purely on all the coffee and pop he drinks while running 10-15 min late to every class. Don't ask this guy a question, you'll be listening him for the next half hour. I've learned alot of cool things about our solar system, but lately it's just been evolutionist crap about how the universe came from nothing billions of years ago.
   Freshman English and Compostion 101- One. Word....  Bob. This guy, I tell you. A mess of fuzzy black hair, glasses, a goofy grin, and a personality larger than life. He's a great teacher, but no matter who was teaching this class, I hate writing essays.  But I get them done on time, mostly because I just like to get them over with. Back to Bob. I work for him in his office the days I don't have classes, and how he is able to do everything he does never ceases to amaze me. He's in charge of so much and so many people, plus he teaches classes, this man is a superhero.
   Math 170 (Statistics)- Oh. My. God. This is the worst class ever. The teacher was born about 5 years before Moses and has a thick cuban accent and barely knows what he's doing or how to properly use a smartboard. Half the class has dropped out by now, and the other half is a month behind in homework (Except for yours truly, who has nearly a perfect score in the class). It's a good thing I was homeschooled and am used to teaching myself, cause I sure am not learning anything in that class.
      The People
  Well, you've heard about Bob, and my insane math teacher. Bob is really the only person I see everyday I'm at school. There's this bunch of nerdy guys I sit with at lunch. They're ok, and it sure beats sitting alone in a crowded cafeteria. Gives me a little something to look forward to while Dr. Nicholson is jabbering on about 5 billion year old asteriods. And at least one of them is always happy to see me, and that makes my day.
The boys. Boys at college age look like mature human beings, but they're just a bunch of 6th graders stuck in tall, manly bodies. I really want a boyfriend, but guys my age are idiots. Plus, the guy I'm looking for (18-20 years old, trekkie, into classic rock, likes animals, lives fairly near me, drives), is like a unicorn, nice to think about, but just doesn't exist.
    Well, those are my main thoughts on that crazy thing people call "College".
  Peace and love, Peace and love ******

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Summerrrrrrrr again

Hi! My last post was on the Nez concert, wasnt it? I've been busy, and lazy. But mostly lazy. I thought I'd hop back on here and tell all two of my faithful readers about what I've been up to and share my thoughts and some pics.
The day after my birthday, i got my driver's license! Its been really fun getting to have that freedom this summer. (I think my lil sis enjoys it too lol)
 I also got to petsit for a family I've been friends with for awhile and that was really a great experience. I mean, I  got to look at this face for over a week. What a fun dog!
Tori, The novia scotia duck tolling retriever

During the time I was petsitting, I had a free night, so I went and saw a late showing of the movie, Jersey Boys. WOW! Thats all I can say! Jersey Boys is the best movie I've yet to see, and I am now head over heels in love with John Lloyd Young, and Frankie Valli and the four seasons. 

Camp! Camp was the highlight of my summer, as always. First, I went up to Solid Rock (The high school camp) as my last year being a camper. The morning speaker this year was AMAZING and talked about stuff that really hit me, and changed me.  I had my heart crushed to bits that week, but through that God taught me alot and I saw good can come out of not so great stuff. 

Second, a few week later, I went up to camp as a first time leader for the guards (age 10-12 year old girls). I was really scared about being the one in charge this time, but I would say it went really well. I learned I actually do have leadership skills and alot more patience then I ever knew.

I would say they liked me.....

Six flags! Me and my sister went to six flags this year after the wisconsin state fair. We waited 90 minutes in line, but yes, we did go on Goliath!!!! 

The biggest thing coming up in my life is college. Cause apparently thats what happens after high school. I start monday at Triton as a Special Education major. I habe my books, my new backpack, and everything I need, I even know where I'm supposed to go. But I'm scared for this huge change in my life. I've never been one for change (I used to cry when we had to take down our christmas tree. It's change, ya know?) but slowly I've been getting better. I think I'll adapt to college life quite well, and I'm actually kinda excited for all the clubs I could join and new people I can meet. 

Well, that's all for now. Save the Texas Prairie Chicken. Peace and Love *****

Saturday, December 7, 2013


You know what I love? Music on vinyl. You know what i hate? People who disrespect vinyl. Like those people who turn perfectly good collectible vintage records into something stupid like a clock, or worse, they melt it down into a bowl.  Good vinyl is to be loved, cherished, protected and listened to while snuggled up in a warm blanket.  90% or more people my age have no idea what a record is and I think that's really sad. No, it's not a giant frisbee, a weird looking cd, or even a crafting object. It's not crafting., It's mutilating precious records that an artist worked hard to produce.  Vinyl is my best friend. I have a great record collection filled with Beatles, Monkees, Michael Nesmith, George Harrison, Wings, Queen, Men at Work, and Glenn Miller (Just to name a few).  So if you're a teenager,ask to look through your parents or grandparents record collections, find yourself a record player, a warm blanket., and snuggle up and listen to some good music. Cause that (in my opinion) is one of the things that makes life really worth it. If you're not a teenager, look through your own record collection and enjoy some classic favourites.  Next time, back to our regularly scheduled programming (The meet the Beatle/Monkees), a blog on either Michael Nesmith or George Harrison.  Save the Texas Prairie Chicken ****

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Meeting Michael Nesmith

This is a post I never thought I would be lucky enough to write. But, I have done it. I have ,met my absolute favourite person in the whole entire universe, Michael Nesmith. I saw his show, twice, because I could only get a conversation pass to the second one, but had bought the tickets to the first show ahead of time. His tour was called "Movies of the Mind" and he told stories about what each song brought to his mind. So, on to the part when I met Nez!      Before the show, I had gotten a gold, sparkly wristband with his name on it and a sticker with his tour logo and the date on it that would let me in to see him afterwards. After the show, I stood around in the lobby where they were trying to gather all the people with conversation passes. A man led us up some stairs into the room where we would meet Nez. There were some tables to the side, so some of us set our coats and stuff down. We formed a line, I was 4th! This conversation was oversold because of technical trouble at selling time, so instead of the 20 people that were supposed to be there there was about 35. Nez walked in and we all cheered, he smiled and pointed to all of us. I was so nervous, I was shaking, but the lady in front of me did a good job of calming me down ( apparently she had met him several times before and assured me he is very normal). It finally got to be my turn. He made eye contact with me and motioned for me to come over. He hugged me and I breathed in his cologne (I had been told this is one of the best things about meeting him. I"m proud to say it really is!)."Let's see your shirt!" he said (I was wearing the one I have with him as 'Super Nez' on it. "Thats cool!" He told me. "It's my favourite episode!" I said He asked me my name, and I told him.  I had made him a necklace like I wear all the time. It was based on the one worn by Davy . I gave it to him, and he thanked me. Her pulled out a picture from the album sleeve I had brought some things in. "How do you want me to sign it? To Becky, or just what?" "Whatever you want" I replied. "No, No, you tell me" He said. "I was gunna frame this one" I said. So, he signed it "Best, Michael Nesmith". Then he pulled out another picture I brought. (One of him from the 'Headquarters' photoshoot) "This one's for my friend, Jodie" I said. He held it out, and said  "I really like this one. I loved that jacket. Never could find another like it". He signed it. Then he signed my Infinite Rider vinyl and my Headquarters vinyl  "To Becky, Best, Michael Nesmith". While he signed them we talked about how I was gunna play "Some of Shelly's Blues" in an upcoming talent show and he told I should do his 'Mind Movie' before I play the song (Now I can't back out of that!). "Is there anything else you want me to sign?" he asked I thought and said "Could you sign my phone?" "sure!" So he signed my phone "Nez".  "Picture!" he said. We hugged again and posed for a picture, Then he put his arm around me and we posed for another picture. We hugged once more and i told him "I love you". I then gathered the items I had signed, and walked away. I looked for a member of the band I had wanted to meet, Chris Scruggs, but I couldn't seem to find him. I stuck around and talked (rather fangirled) to some other people there and then it was time for me to leave.
 While I was walking out, I was approached by three different people trying to buy either my conversation wristband so they could sneak in to meet him, or the things i just has signed. One lady even seemed very angry and looked like she could be violent. I am happy to say I did escape with my life, my wristband, and all my signed items. But even that could not have wiped off the giant smile already on my face.
  And that my friends was how the greatest night of my existence went.  If you made it this far, congrats. you get to see pics! and thank you. As Nez himself would say, Save the Texas Prairie Chicken
Dying inside cause I'm hugging the man I love so much

Telling me about the Jacket he loved 

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

John Lennon

Hey peeps! sorry I haven't blogged in a while. Been busy (and lazy). But, next Beatle/Monkee in my series is... John Lennon!  Now, most people think of John Lennon as the advocate for peace and "that one that got shot", but to me, he is so much more. John was a musician, a poet, a comedian, a best friend, someone who perused what he thought was right : world peace. Now, I don't agree with everything John Lennon said or stood for, but i admire that he still went for it even with all the haters.

I like John Because he was a strong believer in peace, a genius song writer, and had a really...unique sense of humor.

My favourite Beatle song written/ sung by John Lennon is "Lucy in the sky with diamonds". I know, it's a very controversial song, but i enjoy it.

What did John add to the Beatles? All the Lennon-McCartney songs, and he kept them sane by being insane (if that makes any sense)

About John.... John grew up in Liverpool. He was raised by his aunt because his mother left him when he was very young. He formed a group called "The Quarrymen", to which Paul and George were eventually added untill they became "The Beatles". John did do alot of drugs (especially LSD), which you hear in his music. After he got with Yoko, I believe that really sent the Beatles and his relationship with Paul into a downward spiral. After the Beatles, he had "The Plastic Ono Band", and around 5 or 6 solo albums. John Lennon was assassinated in 1980, on the way to have lunch with his 3-year-old son.  John left a lasting impact on this world, and because of him we should all "Give Peace A Chance".

Alright, John Lennon!  Don't know when i'll be back, but untill then , Peace and Love****